I have been searching the internet for some little morsel of help regarding my dad and then I came across your website via youtube at 3:00am this morning. Thank you! Your story is ours, your dad is our dad, your loving family is our loving family and your hurts and frustrations are ours.
We received “the call” from my dad’s current nursing home that he is no longer a fit for their facility because he is “aggressively stubborn.” His aides cannot provide the care that is needed, even with two strong aides helping. My dad is 76, tall and strong. He was diagnosed three years ago, even though he showed significant signs of the disease five years prior to his diagnosis.
He is currently in the severe, late stages of Alzheimer’s Disease. He was living at home until two weeks ago when he fell in the bathroom and we could not get him up. He landed in the hospital and then they sent him to a deplorable nursing home. We took him out the next day and he is currently living in a rehab nursing home. When he entered this current home he immediately replied “better, better” when most of his speech makes no sense anymore. They have several patients with advanced Alzheimer’s.
We are devastated because the next stop is the Geri-Psych hospital for a medication adjustment/assessment.They have recommended a 7-14 day stay when a bed becomes available.
We have called every care facility within 50 miles of our home with no luck because he has a l-o-n-g “RAP SHEET” from this nursing home:-(
“No where to live” is where we have landed.
Your father’s story is so poignant! I bet he is looking down from Heaven and beaming with pride. You are a good daughter and you had a good father.
I am so grateful to have found this website. Sincerely, Lisa
My heart breaks for you and everyone in your family! But I am SO happy that you found my site and my story!! Knowing you’re not alone means more than anyone can ever explain.
I remember a few small words my dad uttered in his later stages and how meaningful they were to me and how much insight they held! (like when I removed him from a chaotic setting and tucked him away in a quiet room in his assisted living home and played a sermon from his favorite church on CD, and he opened his eyes briefly, locked eyes with me, and softly said THANK YOU.) These are the special moments of connection, the diamonds in the ruff. And I believe no one can connect with them and know their needs as well as close family–except that sometimes we exhaust ourselves and our resources and have to wave a flag for help. And then we have to forgive ourselves for it.
There is a new & innovative program offered through Alzheimer’s Association which you should look into–The Wraparound Program. It is for sure offered through the Greater Michigan Chapter and it is supposed to help families manage behavioral challenges successfully by working with community and family teams to identify needed resources, and provide support, education and counseling services. Please look into this to see if they can offer you any other creative solutions besides a Geri-Psych Hospital! I’d be curious to hear the results.
Finding good-hearted quality resources like this and then asking them for advice or like-minded resources in your area is always a good idea.
However, a shortcut to that approach is contacting a Geriatric Care Manager in your area. This is another amazing resource to help you in your desperate time of need! They are experts on the places and resources in your area and forming an action plan and backup plans… and they are worth every penny! (I am a HUGE fan of Alzheimer’s Association but they are a non-profit and cannot legally tell you the good, the bad, and the ugly between different facilities like a Geriatric Care Manager can. They can only give you a list of all the facilities in your area.) http://www.caremanager.org
If you’d like to talk further, please email me your phone number and I’d be happy to touch base and help a friend in need…
Frankly Speaking: Alzheimer’s 
I have been searching the internet for some little morsel of help regarding my dad and then I came across your website via youtube at 3:00am this morning. Thank you! Your story is ours, your dad is our dad, your loving family is our loving family and your hurts and frustrations are ours.
We received “the call” from my dad’s current nursing home that he is no longer a fit for their facility because he is “aggressively stubborn.” His aides cannot provide the care that is needed, even with two strong aides helping. My dad is 76, tall and strong. He was diagnosed three years ago, even though he showed significant signs of the disease five years prior to his diagnosis.
He is currently in the severe, late stages of Alzheimer’s Disease. He was living at home until two weeks ago when he fell in the bathroom and we could not get him up. He landed in the hospital and then they sent him to a deplorable nursing home. We took him out the next day and he is currently living in a rehab nursing home. When he entered this current home he immediately replied “better, better” when most of his speech makes no sense anymore. They have several patients with advanced Alzheimer’s.
We are devastated because the next stop is the Geri-Psych hospital for a medication adjustment/assessment.They have recommended a 7-14 day stay when a bed becomes available.
We have called every care facility within 50 miles of our home with no luck because he has a l-o-n-g “RAP SHEET” from this nursing home:-(
“No where to live” is where we have landed.
Your father’s story is so poignant! I bet he is looking down from Heaven and beaming with pride. You are a good daughter and you had a good father.
I am so grateful to have found this website. Sincerely, Lisa
Lisa ~
My heart breaks for you and everyone in your family! But I am SO happy that you found my site and my story!! Knowing you’re not alone means more than anyone can ever explain.
I remember a few small words my dad uttered in his later stages and how meaningful they were to me and how much insight they held! (like when I removed him from a chaotic setting and tucked him away in a quiet room in his assisted living home and played a sermon from his favorite church on CD, and he opened his eyes briefly, locked eyes with me, and softly said THANK YOU.) These are the special moments of connection, the diamonds in the ruff. And I believe no one can connect with them and know their needs as well as close family–except that sometimes we exhaust ourselves and our resources and have to wave a flag for help. And then we have to forgive ourselves for it.
There is a new & innovative program offered through Alzheimer’s Association which you should look into–The Wraparound Program. It is for sure offered through the Greater Michigan Chapter and it is supposed to help families manage behavioral challenges successfully by working with community and family teams to identify needed resources, and provide support, education and counseling services. Please look into this to see if they can offer you any other creative solutions besides a Geri-Psych Hospital! I’d be curious to hear the results.
Click to access wraparound_flyer.pdf
In my opinion, many traditional medical experts rely on overmedication as a solution vs. getting to the heart and soul of a person-with-Alzheimer’s agitation. It seems like a lazy and inhumane option to me, and there are other progressive-thinking more humane approaches out there. One example is The Lakeview Ranch in MN.
http://www.lakeviewranch.com/index.php
http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2010/05/lakeview-ranch-for-specialized-dementia.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+TheAlzheimersReadingRoom+%28Alzheimer%27s+Reading+Room%29
Finding good-hearted quality resources like this and then asking them for advice or like-minded resources in your area is always a good idea.
However, a shortcut to that approach is contacting a Geriatric Care Manager in your area. This is another amazing resource to help you in your desperate time of need! They are experts on the places and resources in your area and forming an action plan and backup plans… and they are worth every penny! (I am a HUGE fan of Alzheimer’s Association but they are a non-profit and cannot legally tell you the good, the bad, and the ugly between different facilities like a Geriatric Care Manager can. They can only give you a list of all the facilities in your area.)
http://www.caremanager.org
If you’d like to talk further, please email me your phone number and I’d be happy to touch base and help a friend in need…
Frankly speaking,
~ Joleen
mailto:joleen@franklyspeakingalz.com