December 1, 2007 – HOLIDAY SURPRISE!
11/26/2009
I was hanging out and shopping with my best friend, Jacquelyn, all day today. We had arranged this eons ago. We both had the whole day open until 4:30 when she had to get ready for a friend’s party and I had to head home to get ready for my family’s annual holiday party, The Adult Christmas Party at Meadowbrook Country Club. Jac and I had such a fun day that I was bummed when we had to finally go our separate ways.
I went home and got busy glammin’ it up for the big annual extravaganza. My family has been attending this holiday party at Meadowbrook the first weekend of December for as long as I’ve been an adult. It started when I was in college and every year since then my brothers and I attend this dinner dance with my parents and a set of “Mystery Guests”. My father, playful at heart as he is, invited an unknown guest to join us that first year and it has become an annual tradition since – trying to guess who will be the Mystery Guest this year! It’s a semi-formal night out during which our family usually dances their butts off and finishes off the night with a pitcher of Hummers!
This year, as I walked into the club and searched for our reserved table among the sea of tables, I was delighted to discover Jacquelyn and her boyfriend sitting at our table! SHE was the Mystery Guest!! I never guessed it! It was a true delight and I could see the pleasure in my dad’s eyes as I squealed and hugged everyone.
Toward the end of the night, Mom and Dad dismissed themselves earlier than usual due to Mom having back pain. It was duly noted that Mom barely danced because of this and it broke my heart a little that her and Dad weren’t swinging hand-in-hand to every song together like usual. I mean, how many more of these parties will we truly have together…?
November 18, 2007 – THE CHOCOLATE JUBILEE
11/24/2009
Today was the Alzheimer’s Association Greater-Michigan Chapter annual fundraising event, The Chocolate Jubilee. Apparently, this event is in its 23rd year. I’ve never heard of it but, then again, I barely knew what “Alzheimer’s” was until 6 months ago.
Mom and Dad learned about The Chocolate Jubilee during the 7-week couples’ support group they attended this fall via the Alzheimer’s Association. We went as a family to the luncheon, including my Mom’s sister (Aunt Kathy) and her daughters who are my close cousins (Katie and Karrie). I’m not sure what we all expected from the event, except that we were very interested in hearing from the Keynote Speaker, Dr. Richard Taylor, a retired organizational psychologist whom has been living with an early-onset Alzheimer’s diagnosis for six years now.
Dr. Taylor was remarkable. He started off saying he got nervous when he couldn’t find his speech notes a little while ago. 🙂 He flew to the event with the help of his wife, his permanent traveling companion now; apparently, he can’t travel alone anymore because he can’t keep track of his itinerary or maneuver confusing airports, etc. Something we have to look forward to with Dad, I’m sure.
He read some excerpts from his book, Alzheimer’s from the Inside Out. It’s a collection of diary entries/articles he wrote privately for his own peace of mind, but discovered upon sharing them once that they had value beyond his own two eyes. I am very anxious and excited to read the book! This is one piece of research information I haven’t come across yet which I think will be invaluable! To get inside the mind of someone living with Alzheimer’s, to get a glimpse of what they see, feel how they feel… I want desperately to understand my dad’s (ever-shifting?) point of view as much as humanly possible so that I connect with him stronger and communicate with him better – on his level. I AM SO EXCITED THIS BOOK EXISTS!!! 🙂
November 13, 2007 – AGITATION CYCLE
11/09/2009
I haven’t been visiting Dad as much as I should. I like to see him at least once a week. But I know that Dad’s doing better now on his antidepressants and I’ve been very preoccupied with things at home. I’m going through a very tough time there as well and I think I’m probably avoiding people, including my own family. I feel as if I’ve withdrawn into a shell to survive all the stress around me.
I don’t feel like I have solace anywhere in my life. I’m not at peace with what’s happening to Dad nor have I truly accepted that one day (soon??) he will be gone from my life forever. There is volatility at work, having been partially laid-off a few months ago and now having part-time status. And there is palpable volatility at home where I am struggling with the different paths my husband and I seem to be taking – nothing is easy, including me preparing to put up the annual Christmas decorations and him fighting with me about it, complaining about what an inconvenience they are when they’re up and in his way. Our conversations about having kids halted late this summer, and I’m struggling with the concept that my dad may never know my (future) children –and that breaks my heart and seems so unfair. He is so great with kids and would be the ultimate Grandpa!
You hear the phrase, “Out of sight, out of mind.” Well, that doesn’t apply to my dad. When I go too long without seeing him (too many days, too many weeks), I start getting anxious, depressed, edgy. The best I can explain it is that I feel panicky, like he’s already gone and I won’t ever be able to see him again. I assume I’m going through some type of separation anxiety. Whether it’s a natural progression to acclimate to the thought that one day he will be gone, or whether this is some self-launched obsessive condition, I can’t say. I just know that I’m a bit calmer and more even-keeled throughout the week when I’ve had a recent visit with Dad. And so I come out of my shell at least every two weeks and fit in a visit.
October 29, 2007 – BIRTHDAY BOY!
11/07/2009
WOW. The change in Dad is incredible! In just 2 short weeks after being on Lexipro for depression, the sparkle is back in his eye and the spring is back in his step!!! I am SO PLEASED!!!
My brother Todd and I went to dinner with Mom and Dad tonight – it was dad’s 65th Birthday. We weren’t sure what to expect from Dad or what mood we’d find him in, so we just went to a local restaurant and kept the celebration toned down. But the MOMENT Dad walked in the room, I knew he was BACK!!
A few gifts… MAJOR CHOCOLATE for dessert (Dad’s fav!)… good, upbeat conversation… it was SO GOOD to really BE with Dad again!