August 27, 2010 – MY AXIS IS STEADYING


The past 4 months my life has been like a toy top… spinning this way and that… leaning here… spinning off way over there…

I’ve been waiting patiently for it to balance off.

It’s been a full month now that I feel more and more like my old self every day, with the bad days appearing less and less.  I’m very grateful to have gotten over the main hump of the grieving process.

However, today is the 4-month anniversary of Dad passing away, and I find myself quite melancholy.  It started last night on the eve of the impending date and is still present at 2:20p.  I mean, I’m fine – as long as I don’t talk about him or think about him for more than 30-seconds at a time.  That’s what I call a bad day.  Although it’s probably not really bad, it’s more just emotional and takes control of my otherwise composed body and mind.  Tears and longing.

Again, just part of the process.


4 Responses to “August 27, 2010 – MY AXIS IS STEADYING”

  1. Sweetie,
    Erin was killed 21 years ago. At the beginning of October I get sick. It’s not that I think about it. Sometimes I feel guilty when I realize why I’m sick because I didn’t realize how close the date of her death was. Your mind will always remember what you went through in April but it will remind you less and less as time goes on. You’re exhausted from pretending your happiness for your dad while you were so sad inside. Give yourself time to balance. Remember we love you and care about you.
    Aunt Mary

  2. jill Keller said

    Glad to see you are doing so well. I can hear it in your voice and now see in the are healing:) I can’t wait to see you in 2 short weeks!!! Love ya my friend!

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