February 10, 2010 – THE BOTTOM OF THE TUNNEL IS FURTHER THAN YOU THINK

02/10/2010

(Real time entry)

Okay, I have a pound of material to post but have been putting it off for weeks trying to take a break from the topic of Alzheimer’s to focus on me and my needs. However, after being sick yet AGAIN this week (for the 3rd time this month), I figure I’ll just jump online real fast to update everyone on a bunch of stuff all at once so I can get it off my chest and then everyone will be in the know.

COURT. The case of the “alleged” thieves has been transferred from Plymouth to Wayne County. The boys are still in jail awaiting a Feb 17th date with the Frank Murphy Hall of Justice to hear what the consequences will be if they choose to plead guilty. At least they’re still in jail and have had a very long month.

DAD. I’ve been visiting Dad 1-2 times a week – a combination of trying to step back a bit and simultaneously being sick. From what I can see, I would say that he has good hours and bad hours, no longer consistently good and bad DAYS. I’m not sure there is any method to the madness over there.

After yet another aggressive outburst today from my dad toward another resident (he was calling a woman derogatory names and trying to push her off a couch), the Sunrise Assisted Living psychiatrist made the professional call to send Dad to Botsford Hospital’s Geriatric Psychiatric Ward for 5-7 days of strict observation, monitoring and prescription tweaking. A bed wasn’t scheduled to be open at Botsford until tomorrow, but after yet another outburst this afternoon, the police were summoned to Sunrise. After Dad responded disrespectfully to them, an ambulance transported Dad earlier than planned to Botsford for what is called Involuntary Admittance by the State. Last I heard, he was going to be kept in the ER until a bed opened in the ward.

I can’t even IMAGINE what he is going through. When he was in the hospital for seizures 1.5 years ago he was overwhelmed, scared and utterly confused. My poor, poor Dad…

Of course, Mom and I were horrified to hear this news today and then distraught when we were informed that Dad will only be able to have very limited visitors for ONE hour a day. God help him. He is going to be all alone on this journey.

The upside to all of this is that apparently this course of action happens to approximately 30% of Sunrise’s Alzheimer’s patients (based on the 3rd party information I received today) and there can be amazingly positive results that emerge from the ultimate experience. Hopefully, Dad will emerge transformed, calm and peaceful. This is at least what we pray for him everyday. It seems to be the only thing we can really do.

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6 Responses to “February 10, 2010 – THE BOTTOM OF THE TUNNEL IS FURTHER THAN YOU THINK”

  1. Amanda Davis said

    Dearest Joleen & Fran – Frank is absolutely NOT going through this alone!! You and everyone who loves him are ALWAYS with him in spirit and HE KNOWS AND FEELS THIS AT THE DEEPEST CORE OF HIS BEING!! Pray that angels are always around him, comforting him, giving him the love that you are unable to give in person – he can feel it for sure ;O)

    Holding you all in God’s loving light & knowing that all roads lead to divine love, divine peace, divine grace, ALWAYS.

    LOVE YOU!

    • Amanda, that is a VERY good point! Thank you for pointing it out so blatantly to me. My dad’s brothers have been saying comments like… this disease has helped me to live life to the fullest every day… and don’t give up hope. I have been finding it very difficult to see through those same rose-colored glasses. All I see is my dad in pain and suffering and wonder what I am supposed to be having HOPE about. I do pray regularly for him to find peace, calmness, unity, serenity, love, warmth – which will give his soul clarity even though his mind can’t get there anymore. My mother pointed out that she prays positively and thanks God ahead of time for giving my dad peace. I am trying these approaches. But it is an odd sensation to (only) be able to pray and send messages of love telepathically when the person is still on this physical earth. This is the odd part of the struggle that makes it so clear that for the first time in our lives together we are on separate physical paths and can no longer be of support to one another like we’re used to. You have to reach deep and take that leap of faith and (hope?) or know that you’re present with him and supporting him on his journey as much as you possibly can. It just feels so inadequate at times.

  2. Carol Seemann said

    My prayers continue to be with you, your mom and brothers and poor Frank. Love and strength to you all.

  3. Joleen said

    Joleen,

    Hope that you feeling better. It take a lot of strength to share with all of us on the medical report of your dad. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and the family.
    Frank is sending a message for all of us, to live life to the fullest each day while on earth. This is so difficult for you and the family to have to live through; however, by keeping us up to date, we are being more concerned about our own health. Your Dad’s mission from here on is a teaching one.
    Your parents have done a wonderful job being the parents they are and raising such a caring daughter.
    Always, remember you’re still daddy’s special daughter, and he would be so proud of the decision you have taken to keep everyone so informed and not to forget the wonderful kind man that we have known him as. Many people are praying for Frank to have the quiet life that he so much enjoyed until God sent him on a new journey.

    May each day become brighter

    • Andree’, that is the kindest message from the heart which obviously took time and reflection to write. Thank you for reaching out across the miles! It seems that Dad’s journey is teaching many how precious and fleeting life is and how we need to grab every day by the horns with passion. I still need to jump on this bandwagon wholeheartedly but am sure I will get there eventually once a little more healing happens on my end. xo ~Joleen

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