March 19, 2008 – A NEW EARTH

12/14/2009

(BACK-STORY)

I just finished reading a book that I know has changed my life: A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle.  I can see me in this book, how I fumbled through life up until now trying to keep up with the Joneses and overfilling some areas of my life while others remained empty.  Like, while not being able to see the areas I needed to work on but nonetheless felt the void, I became sucked into the whole idea of consumerism and its hype of needing more… more is better… (I even work in advertising!) – ENOUGH!

I’m definitely on a self-reflection and self-improvement kick.  And I think this was a very fortunate book to have stumbled upon.  Like it says, you don’t undergo transformation unless compelled to do so by some crisis situation.  (Life crisis?  Check!)  And it says that heaven is not a location but rather in finding peace within.  I like that.  I can relate to that.  I want that.  I want inner peace. 

I feel like I’ve been in turmoil for so long that I’m completely depleted – and ready to build stronger upon this new base.  No more over-thinking.  I want true feeling!  I want to be able to trust my instincts again, that voice inside me, that guides me to places I never regret.

This book has introduced the idea to me that perhaps I’m in total and complete breakdown everywhere in my life because I’m personally in need of this experience right now.  Maybe this all happened to get my attention, to wake me up!  After a marriage entrenched in battling egos, I now realize I want peace, not drama.  I want to be okay with the fact my life is upside down right now.  I want to be at peace with it.  All of it.

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