February 5, 2008 – ESCAPE FOR SANITY’S SAKE

12/08/2009

I left my husband this week. 

It sounds drastic.  It was.  His treatment of me was drastic, my fear was drastic, the drinking and fighting was drastic, my panic to get away to save myself was drastic.

I’m empowering myself to turn things around.  I’m choosing sanity… and life… and love.  I’m choosing to surround myself with those who truly support me and have my best interests in mind.  I’m choosing a life of goodness that I believe can exist, even among this current tragedy of my dad’s illness. 

When I rang my parents’ doorbell this week after the news of me moving out, my dad answered the door, embraced me tightly, and whispered over and over in my ear, “You’re safe now.”  THAT is what love feels like.

Now that I’ve clawed myself to safety, I need to find some ground beneath my feet.  I need to replant myself.  I know it will take a long time to get there.  There’s a long trail of debris which needs to be cleaned up.  But I believe I can do this as long as I keep acidic people and elements OUT of my life. 

I choose SANITY.  I choose LIFE.  I choose LOVE.

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